“The ultimate price of love is grief.”
How many of us have heard that while we are grieving?
I want to believe that well meaning people tell us things in grief in an attempt to help us.
Most of what we hear is true, but when it comes to grief, timing is everything and if we are truly honest with ourselves most words fall on deaf ears until we are truly ready to hear it.
Grief is awful, there is just no other way to describe it. It can be the most painful thing we experience as humans, but if we truly sit and take a look at why we are hurting so badly in grief, it is because we allowed ourselves to open up to a great love. Love doesn’t have to be romantic, there are so many different kinds of love, which means there are many different kinds of grief. All of which are appropriate.
Choosing to open your heart to love at any moment is brave. After we lose someone we love so deeply it impacts us to our core every single day.
Your life today is likely unrecognizable to who you were at this time last year, love looks different, you look different. I think after we have a great loss and we choose to love, knowing the price we will eventually pay, is beyond brave.
When we choose love, we choose grief. We know that now.
There is something different about us after we walk through great grief.
We are changed.
We will never go back to who we were before, but isn’t that something we can count on in life, change?
We encourage you to find out who you are now, try to grasp that you will never be that person again. There will always be a hole in your life where that person used to be, that won’t change but it may grow smaller and you can learn to fill the hole with special things about your person.
There are no rules for grief, remind yourself that on your best day and your worst.
Grief is love.
Grief is the final price we pay for love.
Grief hurts, everytime.
So, if you know the price of love but continue to choose to stay open to love, we commend you for being brave and choosing love.
If you are struggling with seeing grief this way, that is okay.
We will tell you over and over there are no rules to grief. You don’t have to have any epiphany or growth from your loss. You can just be sad, but if you are having a hard time experiencing any joy or happiness, even momentarily, we encourage you to get some professional help. You deserve that.
Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.
-The Retreat Bereavement Staff